Mr Krabs' Deceased Brother
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: Mr. Krabs briefly tells Spongebob a tale on how his mysterious older brother, Kyle, was killed in the most unimaginated way ever, and how the Krusty Krab benifited from it.


It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon in the Krusty Krab...

"Order up!" Spongebob cheerfully piped, bringing out a plate of 12 Krabby Patties.

Squidward sighed. "Yes, thank you, Spongebob." He took the plate from Spongebob and handed it to the random customer. "Here. Take this and leave me alone in pity."

The random customer shrugged. "Oh well." He left.

Mr. Krabs sighed of relief, rolling around ina pile of money. "Ahhh! Isn't it great, guys? We're rolling around in money, and we got no worries!"

Squidward murmured. "I'm still working in the same place I have been working in years..."

Mr. Krtabs laughed, and he got up. "Yeah. Just keep it up, Squidward, and you won't end up like my deceased brother, Kyle!"

Spongebob gasped in excitement as he came up to Mr. Krabs, holding a plate with two Triple Deluxe Krabby Patties. "Oooh! You have a dead brothers?"

Mr. Krabs laughed, getting up and patting Spongebob on the back. "Of course, Spongebob! Have I told you about what happened to the Krusty Krab before you and Squidward came here?"

Spongebob squealed with delight. "Oooh! Tell me, tell me, tell me!" He started hoping up and down in excitement, giggling like a Japanese school girl.

Squidward sighed, taking out a book. "Well, I'll be reading something better than hearing you."

Mr/ Krabs shrugged. "Suit yourself, Squidward." He pulled up a barrel from a table, causing the customer in the seat to fall on his face. "Whoops."

The red-faced customer (with the red obviously being the bruise) growled, and pointed at Mr. Krabs. "I will make your worst nightmares come to life!" He ran off, laughing crazily.

Spongebob tilted his head. "What was that, Mr. Krabs?" He asked, pulling a used table and placing his tray of 2 Triple Deluxe Krabby Patties on them.

The two customers who were using the table angrily shouted at Spongebob, and they stormed out of the Krusty Krab.

Mr. Krabs shrugged. "I don't know, ladie. Anyway, here's how it goes." As he started explaining his tale, Spongebob pulled another chair from another table and sat in it, causing the customer sitting in it to curse and leave. "It was in the summer of '93...it was the last time I managed the Krusty Krab before Squidward came..."

Squidward rolled his eyes. "Oh joy," He said sarcastically, reading his book.

Mr. Krabs ignored Squidward's comment. "Anyway, Kyle was wiping the tables, when a wild snail slithers into the Krusty Krab, and..."

* * *

FLASHBACK

Kyle G. Krabs, Mr. Krab's unknown older brother, was wiping the tables, when a snail came up to him.

"Meow," The snail said.

Kyle cooed, and he picked up the snail. "Awww...aren't you a cute little snai-"

"KYLE, GET BACK TO WORK!" A younger version of Mr. Krabs shouted, "We'll never draw in the crowds if you just stand there!"

Kyle sighed. "All right, Eugene. As you wish." He put the snail down, but it jumped back in Kyle's arms. "Huh?"

Mr. Krabs slapped the back of Kyle's head. "Kyle! I'm not paying you to just stand there! I'm not paying you at all!"

Kyle gasped. "You mean I haven't gotten all that money for working with you, younger brother?"

"SHUT UP AND GET RID OF THE STUPID SNAIL!" Mr. Krabs grabbed Kyle, and threw him out of the Krusty Krab.

Kyle got back up, rubbing his sore head. "Owww...that hurt." He placed the snail down. "All right, little buddy, you're free to go."

The snail jumped back in Kyle's arms. "Meow."

Kyle growled. "No! Stop jumping in my arms! Get down!"

He dropped the snail on its back, which killed it. A few secon ds passed, before Kyle screamed, "OH NO!! I KILLED AN INNOCENT SNAIL!!"

Suddenly, after that cry, anti-violence groups surrounded Kyle, and they started beating him to death with picket signs.

* * *

Spongebob wiped a tear from his eye. "Sniff..that poor snail."

Mr. Krabs comforted Spongebob. "There, there, ladie. My brother had a good life."

Squidward scoffed. "Please! You kicked him out of the Krusty Krab, and you told him to get rid of the snail, which caused it to fall to its death. And then those anti-violence group started beating down your older brother to his de-"

A few minutes later, Squidward was in the closet, being tied up.

Spongebob applauded. "That was a great story, despite what happened to that poor snail..." He broke into tears again.

Mr. Krabs laughed. "C'mon, Spongebob. Let's forget our worries and go back to work."

"YAY!" Spongebob laughed, running into the kitchen and crashing into several objects in the progress.

Mr. Krabs laughed to himself, holding up money. "Yep. Thanks to my deceased brother Kyle, I am rich and wealthy! And I have the best Krusty Krew!" He heartily laughed as he started rolling around in his huge pile of money again. 


End file.
